Domestic abuse can take many forms, but none of them are OK. If you feel that your partner, ex-partner or a family member is being abusive towards you – whether emotionally, sexually, physically, financially or psychologically – seek help immediately.

Any domestic violence or abuse – whatever the gender identity or sexual orientation of the people involved – is also taken very seriously by police.

Here are a few examples of abusive behaviour:

• Calling you names, threatening to ‘out’ you, using put-downs
• Using your gender identity or sexuality as a basis for threats or harm
• Damaging your property
• Threatening to harm you or others that you love
• Controlling your access to money
• Making unwanted advances or forcing you into unwanted sexual contact
• Hitting, shoving, grabbing, kicking, throwing things or using other forms of physical violence
• Controlling your contact with friends, family, work, or the LGBTQ+ ‘scene’
• Threatening to harm themselves if you leave or seek help

You can find more advice and information about domestic abuse in LGBTQ+ relationships on the Galop charity website, they have a helpline 0800 999 5428 or you can email for emotional and practical support.

What you can do

If you experience any type of homophobic, biphobic or transphobic abuse, hate crime, bullying or violence take the following steps:

1. Report it

• Tell someone at school or college, such as a teacher, counsellor or the school nurse.
• Report all violent crimes to the police.
• If you are bullied or harassed at work, you are protected by the Equality Act of 2010, so you should report to your HR department, manager or welfare officer who will have to deal with the matter by law.

2. Get support

• Talk to someone at an LGBTQ+ support group – find out about ours here.
• There are several domestic abuse support charities in Kent and Medway,find a listing here. Oasis is another charity who offer support, in North and West Kent.
• Get counselling in person (speak to your GP about this).
• Get counselling online (kooth.com is a good source of free, confidential help and advice).
• Talk to a friend or someone you trust.

Whoever you decide to tell, and whatever support you get, don’t keep it to yourself. Holding on to experiences of bullying, harassment or abuse can be harmful and can affect your mental health. You are not alone and there is help out there,