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Understanding Pronouns: A Guide to Respect and Inclusivity

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Using pronouns respectfully is a simple (yet powerful) way to affirm a person’s gender identity and foster inclusivity in our day-to-day environments.

Dec. 3, 2024

Pronouns – such as he/him, she/her, and they/them – are key to how individuals express themselves and relate to their friends and family. For members of the LGBTQIA+ community, particularly those who are transgender, nonbinary, or those who don’t feel settled in any particular gender, correct pronoun use is the biggest way to show them respect.

Pronouns are more than just words – they signify both identity and belonging to a person’s chosen gender. Misusing someone’s pronouns, whether on purpose or accidentally, can make them feel hurt or invalidated. By using the correct pronouns, you’re communicating that you value that person and how they choose to live their life, making you a supportive ally and friend. It’s a small gesture that can really make someone’s day.

How to Use Pronouns Respectfully:

Here are some handy steps to determining and using pronouns in your daily life!

Ask, Don’t Assume: If you’re unsure of someone’s pronouns, politely ask them, “What pronouns do you use?”, or "How do you like to be referred to?". Asking a person directly shows openness and respect, and ensures you are creating a safe space for them.

Sharing Your Own Pronouns: Introducing yourself with your own pronouns – for example, greeting people with, “Hi, I’m Alex, and I use they/them pronouns” – goes on to encourage others to do the same, reducing any awkwardness when expressing your gender. You could even add your pronoun to name tags or the end of your emails to normalise using them in daily life!

Practice Active Listening: Pay attention to how people refer to themselves, or other people – see if you can pick up on pronouns in conversation.

Mistakes when using pronouns can happen, and that’s okay. The key is how you respond. If you use the wrong pronoun, apologise, correct yourself, and move on without making a fuss about your error. For example, “She – sorry, they – mentioned the project earlier.”

Respecting pronouns isn’t just about language; it’s about kindness and dignity. It sends a clear message: everyone deserves to be acknowledged for who they are. This practice reinforces the broader principle of treating everyone with empathy and fairness.

By using pronouns in a kind, respectful manner, you are helping to build a more inclusive and compassionate world – one pronoun at a time.